What, in God's name, is this weed, and how do I get rid of it?

It could be Bishop's Weed.

Poison ivy? https://www.thespruce.com/pictures-of-poison-ivy-4071932

I don't think it's a weed but can't remember the name. Had a lot of it in our garden, first was variegated and beautiful, and spread like crazy. Eventually went all green and could not be controlled. Have attempted to aggressively dig it all out, including roots, but it's gradually returning. We also need help!

Looks like wild strawberries. Hard to get rid of...........

I believe it's what we call Snow-on-the-Mountain. That usually has variegated leaves though. It takes a long time to eradicate it. The roots are like quack grass and any little piece will grow. If you don't want anything to grow there for awhile, you can use Round-Up, but like I said, the roots will continue to grow so you just need to keep digging them up or spraying. Good luck!!

Its also known as Goutweed.

Accorging to a Wisconsin Govt site

this is how you get rid of it

Mechanical:

Diligently hand-pull or dig-up plants, removing as much of the rhizomes as possible. Bag and dispose of all plant debris as plant fragments readily resprout.Cutting and mowing may slow the plants from invading new areas.Cover the infestation with black landscape fabric/plastic in early spring, when leaves emerge. Keep covered for a minimal of one growing season.

Chemical:

Use a systemic herbicide, such as glyphosate.

I would contact your local Agricultural extension office for locally successful suggestions.

I don't have Goutweed but my property came with almost 1/8 acre of ivy. Bain of my existence!

The only completely successful removal system has been sheets of plywood covering the area for over a year. It's worth the wasted money on the plywood and the 'ugly' for an extended period of time.

: )

Looks like lamium maculatum (Dead Nettle). There is a variegated version, the leaves look like they were lightly brushed with silver paint. Frequently used as a ground cover in shady and dry locations.

Use recyclable corrigated cardboard leave it on for 1 year layering it as the bottom layer composts - worms love the cardboard at the end of the year pull out the remaining roots. Good Luck!

It's definitely goutweed.

Try Japanese Knot weed. Very prolific, impossible to control. Incredibly hard to dig out. Requires deep digging to get all when i mean all of the roots out. Then a strong root killer. Leave untouched for a few months, apply further root killer, turn ground over, leave for a few weeks. Then ready for planting but be aware if you leave any root behind it will come back. It has the ability to damage house bricks, if it remains unchecked. Good luck!!!

Everyone is overlooking that he said "flowers like Queen Anne's Lace"! That rules out alot of guess work. It IS GOUTWEED (Aegopodium podagraria) or commonly known as "Snow On The Mountain" or "Bishops Weed". It thrives in moist partly shaded areas creating a dense groundcover preventing other plants from developing. It spreads above the ground from seed & underground via runners. If you have it, you will probably always have it! It's been considered "invasive" since 1860! Best way to kill it: COMPLETE REMOVAL OF THE RHIZOMES IS NECESSARY ... CAUSE if you cut through a rhizome or it is broken apart, it grows new plants! Begin in a small area such as a 2x2 digging up everything & discarding it INCLUDING THE SOIL! Replace the soil with new soil. Work quickly with sections so the rhizomes won't send runners into the clean areas! OR, use the "solarization" method. Mow it down to less than an inch, then layer several tarps over the mown area. As the sun heats up the area, a larger amount of heat will become trapped under the tarps and eventually will burn & suffocate the plants & rhizomes. You will need to leave the tarps in place for at least 2-3 weeks. There is always herbicides such as a basic broadleaf weed killer spray, but it will require several applications & not be 100% successful! Also, there is a risk using an herbicide as it will kill other plants in the area, so one must be careful with this treatment. Believe it, Bishops Weed continues to be available for purchase! https://youtu.be/-x-f8-oPCE4

Hope this helps!

Jacksonville Illinois --We call it Creeping Charlie. It is hard to control and hard

to get rid of. Your have to pull it out by the roots.

Poison oak or ivy

Thanks everyone, for your help!

Pat is correct

just cut back what you dont want. Also get a pot , plant a geranium in it and make a hanging plant out of it.

Don't know what it is but pouring boiling water on it will get rid of it .

The only way to get rid of it is t dig it out with the roots. Any piece of root left will grow again.

Use 2D4 get it any place.

You can spray it heavily with WHITE VINEGAR.

Our variegated patch changed to all green for reasons that are beyond me.

Thanks everyone. It's a lot of work, but at least I know what to do now.

Gout weed

Dig it up in large squares... place in cardboard box used for vegetables or soup.. hold a yard sale (make sure what you have left in the ground is shaped and pine bark around the edges)

Be honest it spreads in areas prolifically. . Is great ground cover ..plant away from house foundations .. it's old stock been around since 1860

Sell for 20.00 a square..

Sell 4 -6

a week and go out to eat