Drywall disasters

I think I need some professional help on fixing my drywall / ceilings in preparation to paint. I've tried fixing the cracks above the door openings in the past with everything from spackle to the "elastic" type that is supposed to keep the cracks from re-appearing. They always do reappear. I had some foundation issues that I *think* are fixed, but after "fixing," the nail pops appeared in the ceiling.
Then there are the corner or edge issues that I've tried to fix, but they end up cracking, too, and pretty soon, somebody comes by and says "Hey, did you see that this is cracking off?" and proceeds to pop off the cracked bits. :-/
Then there are the issues of the ceiling separating from the walls that were structurally fixed (the builders didn't attach the ceiling joists to the wall joists, so during the winter, when the ceiling joists shrink, up goes the ceiling), but now I don't know how to fix the mess of the drywall. While fixing the rising ceilings, one of the guys slipped and almost come through the ceiling... and I have no idea how to fix what I call the "splat" ceilings without it looking OBVIOUSLY patched.
All comments welcome, but I'm leaning toward needing a reputable drywall person come fix all of the above.
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, Office Wall 1 of the aftermath of the ceiling being connected to the wall
Office Wall 1 of the aftermath of the ceiling being connected to the wall.
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, Hallway nail pops
Hallway nail pops
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, The worse part of the kitchen doorway the line you see at the back of the opening is the finished wainscotting in the kitchen that wraps around the edge
The worse part of the kitchen doorway (the line you see at the back of the opening is the finished wainscotting in the kitchen that wraps around the edge).
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, Doorway opening cracks that always reappear after fixing
Doorway opening cracks that always reappear after fixing.
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, Doorway opening edging that keeps cracking no matter how many times I remud and smooth
Doorway opening edging that keeps cracking no matter how many times I remud and smooth.
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, Another doorway crack same wall as the previous doorway corner crack different doorway
Another doorway crack -- same wall as the previous doorway corner crack, different doorway.
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, The glad I didn t fall completely through the ceiling fix
The "glad I didn't fall completely through the ceiling!" "fix"
drywall disasters, home maintenance repairs, how to, paint colors, walls ceilings, Office wall this ugliness runs across the entire wall see previous office picture for other side
Office wall -- this ugliness runs across the entire wall (see previous office picture for other side).

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