ICK! What to do with the brick on this house?

Looking for suggestions on repairing this brick and then after that .... Paint? Stain? So many ugly flaws and no clue what to do. Masonry is deffo not my forte but there has to be some sort of great DIY solution to this aside from paying 257437575 bajillion dollars to have it re-surfaced professionally.... any thoughts? A lot of the brick has been eroded from years of neglect. Curious how you might cover them over and look alright - Labour and hardwork are no issues .... just looking for a decent product or idea. Thanks so much!

Look at the next few photos to see the close up of the bricks - for those saying nothing is wrong with the brick lol . oye yoy yoy ... its bad,
the far right side of the house
  • John
    John Philadelphia, PA
    on Jun 6, 2013

    Well, if you don't like the brick you can always paint it using a masonry safe paint. I'd look to fill in that horizintal gap above the door with some spare bricks if you can find them. I'd also dress up the entry way with some nice trim work to wrap around the door.. should make it looks more substantial. Good luck!

    • Fran H
      Fran H Garrett, IN
      on Jun 6, 2013

      I'd paint it brick red and then add a porch and roof.. to cover gap put porch all the way as is but only one set of stairs...