How do we update and keep the light oak in our home?

I'd add molding around the top. I've shown a partial view of my kitchen with oak cabinets. I don't intend to change them, ever. I know if I were to sell the house that would likely be the first thing a new owner would do, but that would be their choice. IMO, they are gorgeous custom made cabinets and for as long as I own the house, they stay. So, as I suggested, for yours I'd add molding at the top and do what I can to update other things easier to change. Your wall color, perhaps, and accessories that can be changed in a moment. Curtains or a valance could be easily done. (I have none on my window; I like the simplicity of the bamboo blind.) If you truly are tired of the oak, you could always restain using a gel stain. Good luck to you and happy choices.

Not sure what you mean by update but you could replace those tiny knobs with something more decorative. If you like the look of the oak, you don't really have to do anything.

I would change out the cabinet hardware for a new look.

I agree! Crown molding around the top and new hardware.

If you look at Home Depot or Lowes in the 'Millworks' area (trims & moldings) they sell wooden fancy pieces that can be attached to the centers of your cupboards and stained to match.This is

please what every you do ... never paint the wood. I don't know why people are getting rid of wood when it is a treasure of nature.

Some times changing the surroundings. Like a different back splash or wall paint or countertop color. That is what I am going to do.