Asked on Oct 15, 2017

Should I do this different?

Charlotte WilsonCynthia HKaterina Carpenter
+20

Answered

So I made this because a few weeks ago I went into labor at 21 weeks and lost my baby girl. So we cremated her, she is in the urn, and I wanted to put her up so she could be seen but not touched. So my questions is...would there be a prettier way I could do this for her? It just seems kinda cluttered to me. Any help would be great full. Thank you!
q should i do this different
18 answers
  • 2dogal
    on Oct 15, 2017

    My condolences. So sad.
    Yes, it is cluttered. If there were more things of varying heights, it would help. Maybe by putting the urn on a pedestal. The quilt is also overpowering, Maybe hang it on the wall behind the shelf. Place the pictures and star on the quilt.
  • Janet Wilson Overman
    on Oct 15, 2017

    I agree. The quilt overpowers the shelf. The urn should be the focal point. It is lost here. Maybe use a collage frame so there aren't so many frames taking up space and making it cluttered. So sorry for your loss. I too lost a baby girl - at 6 1/2 months along.
  • Bren
    on Oct 15, 2017

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful child. Working for a high risk pregnancy clinic, I see this all too often and the pain it can cause. I understand the need to cherish the memory. I agree with the earlier poster. Hang the quilt on the wall. I would also frame the pictures you have and for the other items, hang an empty frame and hang the item in the middle of the empty frame. It should give you a nice collage on the quilt. Center the urn on the mantal and place the items you cant frame on either side of the urn.
  • Roxaneg
    on Oct 15, 2017

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    The ultrasound photos could be arranged in the back behind the urn to set off the urn, the quilt folded to the side and the other items on the folded quilt. Folded properly, the design of the quilt will continue to stand out, but not overwhelm the space.
  • Johnavallance82
    on Oct 15, 2017

    Hello there. So sorry for your loss. My idea would be to make something permanent as a tribute, rather than the arrangement of items you have at the moment. Something like : Glass fronted wall mounted box - bit like a Wall Clock. Make up a collection of items on different shelves that represent all you hold dear.(If yo have a piece of the Quilt fabric use that maybe to line the back of the display) instead of the whole quilt. If you use the clock idea, then baby's urn could stand on top flanked by a pair of wooden incurved mouldings to represent wings.


  • Kim
    on Oct 15, 2017

    So sorry for your loss...I would either put up three shelves (staggering them) if you want to keep all of the things you have in pic. Or keep the one shelf but pare it down. Remember less is more. Use odd number of objects 3-5 I wouldn't use more than 5 items..obviously you want the urn to be the focal point so maybe put it on top of a box to give it some height..you want to vary the height of things so they will stand out...good luck, hope this helps. And again sorry for your loss..
  • Katerina Carpenter
    on Oct 15, 2017

    thank you everyone! It’s so very hard. I was thinking of putting some stuff on a poster board and hanging it? It just doesn’t seem like it would look pretty. The blanket is cause that was ganna be her baby blanket. So do I keep the shelf?
  • Barb
    on Oct 15, 2017

    My condolences during this sad time.
    I have a picture ideas below. It‘s a wood wall plaque of angle wings in white, I would place that in the center of the wall where to star is and add a very small shelf enough to hold the urn just below the angle wings, so the urn is centered under them on a pedestal. Then the photo‘s you have spray paint the frames white. This way white is a sign of purity. I hope this tribute and the photo memories will help during the loss of your sweet baby girl.
    again may the memories help with your loss
  • Janet Wilson Overman
    on Oct 16, 2017

    Another thought, maybe fold the blanket so it covers the shelf, but does not hang down more than a few inches. Maybe that is what is taking away from the main focus. The urn should be the tallest thing in the display - maybe on some type of unique stand.
  • Dolores DeLuise
    on Oct 16, 2017

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. This is a beautiful idea with which to commemorate your baby girl.

    The overall balance, however, is not pleasing to the eye. My eye is drawn to the fabric, when it should be focused on the top of the shelf. Perhaps remove the ruffle or incorporate it and the fabric into the contents of the top of the shelf. As others have noted, there should be a focal object on the shelf, and the heights of items can be varied. You can use risers--perhaps incorporate the fabric to cover risers--which can be simple rectangular boxes--to elevate items in your display. Definitely place the urn on a riser, and perhaps add a votive candle with holder in front of it. Perhaps only one strip of ruffle can be used along the edge of the shelf (it would mean cutting the fabric, but there is too much of it in a large block in the one spot--spread it throughout as a theme). Perhaps one of the pics on the wall can be better used on the shelf to vary the height and texture. I can't see what the star is made of, but, if possible, I would think of spray painting it white. I would also add a great deal of white to the shelf, as white is the traditional color of innocence as well as the color of mourning in several spiritual traditions. Wings mentioned above would be nice. I would paint the picture frames white, and add some touches of soft white ribbon--I would use Snug Hug silk or rayon seam binding to make some clusters like flowers, streamers, bows, etc. to attach to picture frames and other objects. (Wet the seam binding, crinkle up into a ball and let it sit for about a half hour, unravel, and let it air dry to give it texture.) Best wishes on this endeavor.
  • Dolores DeLuise
    on Oct 16, 2017

    Also, maybe get a package of flower embellishments from Michael's or one of the other craft stores, and use them on some of the items on the shelf or on the picture frames. Hope some of this helps.
  • Cynthia H
    on Oct 16, 2017

    I am so sorry. All the ideas here are excellent and I hope they help you find some comfort. We just lost a grandchild due to miscarriage. My heart aches for you.
  • Vicky Davis
    on Oct 16, 2017

     Maybe just start with the quilt. Don't push yourself to change everything. Let your emotions guide you.
  • Charlotte Wilson
    on Oct 16, 2017

    How about starting a go fund me account to get something enclosed to show her memories in? Katerina
    • Katerina Carpenter
      on Oct 17, 2017

      My friend has mentioned that but I feel really bad starting a GoFundMe account when there are people that have it worse than I do out there. 😔
  • Charlotte Wilson
    on Oct 16, 2017

    I'm sorry for your loss. We both have experienced the worst pain there is for parents. This this website has helped me in coping with my loss, I'm sure you will be comforted by what the Bible says about the loss of our loved ones. JW.ORG
  • Katerina Carpenter
    on Oct 17, 2017

    Thank you!
  • Cynthia H
    on Oct 17, 2017

    Thank you. Just know that you aren't alone and you are in my prayers.
  • Charlotte Wilson
    on Oct 17, 2017

    You should at less try it. You are not looking to get something you don't need are you? If so you would have gotten something already, right?
    , Katerina this memory box was given to me not because I asked for it but I was inquiring about it to the company it came from The representative I spoke with heard my story and decided to gift it to me You just don t know what blessing you d receive if you just let people know of your story You have a good reason some don t They are just greedy A lot of people are willing to share You only need a few hundred not thousands I respect your decision but hope you consider it again
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