July 4th question

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I'm feeling blue my dad passed away on the 4th of July...its hitting me hard 'cause i'm now the same age he was when he had his first heart attack. i need some crazy 4th of July jokes to cheer me up. got any good ones?

  9 answers
  • Peggy L Burnette Peggy L Burnette on Jul 03, 2018
    Hi this is Peggy, sorry I don't know any crazy jokes, but I will pray for you to have peace. Stay busy and remember the good times. I am so sorry for your loss.
  • Dfm Dfm on Jul 04, 2018
    thank you. heart disease runs in both sides of my family, i've been on a healthy heart diet since my teens.
  • Deborah Deborah on Jul 04, 2018
    I understand what you feel, when I was 17 my father died when he was only 43. I was always afraid to get to 43 thinking will I live past that age. Smile and enjoy looking at the sky and fireworks I am now 63 this year and still kicking. Just smile and have good thoughts.
  • Cindy Cindy on Jul 04, 2018
    Hi Dfm, First, I want to offer my condolences on your loss. Here's a joke for you. Q. Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide? A. Cause it's too cold out tide. Here's another. Q. How do you catch a unique rabbit? A. Unique up on it. Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit? A. Tame way, unique up on it. Wishing you well. Remember the good times.
  • Carol Carol on Jul 04, 2018
    Hope this helps bring a smile to your heart! I will be praying for you!

    (TEACHING ON THE 4TH OF JULY)
    The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. 'We live in a great country,' she announced. 'One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.'
    Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, 'I'm not free. I'm four.'
    Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
    One lad raised his hand and said, 'Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states

    (SAM LEARNS A LESSON)
    Once, in the 1820's, a little boy called Sam was playing in the yard behind his house. During his pretend fighting game, he knocked over the outhouse. Now Sam was upset and worried that he would get into trouble so he ran into the woods and didn't come out until after got dark. When he arrived back home, his pappy was waiting for him. He asked suspiciously, "Son, did you knock over the outhouse this afternoon?"
    "No, pappy," Sam lied.
    "Well, let me tell you a story," said the father. "Once, not that long ago, Mr Lincoln received a shiny new axe from his father. Excited, he tried it out on a tree, swiftly cutting it down. But as he looked at the tree, with dismay he realized it was his mother's favorite cherry tree," his pappy paused." just like you, he ran into the woods. When he returned, his pappy asked, 'Abraham, did you cut down the cherry tree?' Abraham answered with, 'Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did indeed chop down the tree.' Then his father said, 'Well, since you were honest with me, you are spared from punishment. I hope you have learned your lesson, though.' So," the Sam's father asked again," did you knock down the outhouse?"
    "Pappy, I cannot tell a lie any more." said the little boy. "I did indeed knock down the outhouse."
    Then his pappy father spanked Sam boy red, white, and blue. The boy whimpered, "Pappy, I told you the truth! Why did you spank me?"
    Pappy answered, "That's because Abraham Lincoln's father wasn't in the tree when he chopped it down!"

    (LITTLE ANDY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL)
    Mrs Whyte, his teacher advises the class that each school day starts with the "Pledge of Allegiance"*** and instructs them to put their right hand over their heart and repeat after her.
    As Mrs Whyte starts the recitation she looks around the room, 'I pledge allegiance to the flag........', when her eyes are drawn to Andy who has his hand over the right cheek of his bottom.
    'Andy, I cannot continue till you put your hand over your heart,' she demands.
    Andy looks up and replies, 'It is over my heart.'
    After several more attempts to get Andy to put his hand over his heart, Mrs Whyte enquires, 'Why do you think that is your heart, Andy?'
    'Well Miss,' answers Andy, 'because every time my Grandma comes to visit she pats me there and says, "Bless your little heart," and my Grandma never lies.'
  • Dfm Dfm on Jul 04, 2018
    Keep them coming...I feel a twitch of a smile starting...
  • Wendy Wendy on Jul 05, 2018
    Sending you all the laughs and all the love!
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