How do I paint kitchen cabinets and counters black?

Ok. I'd do a black granite look on countertops to give you a break. Love black cabinets, esp if distressed.

How to Paint Cabinets

Make sure they are clean and dry. Remove the doors and hardware. Mark the doors and cabinets with tape where they go. Lightly sand the doors and cabinets to remove any gloss and roughen the surface for paint with 220-grit sandpaper. Use a tack cloth or damp rag to remove dust after sanding. Prime with a stain blocking primer like KILZ. Acrylic, or water-base, paints are low-fume and clean up easily with water. Alkyd, or oil-base, paints require good ventilation because the paint contains solvents that can irritate your lungs and make you feel sick. Alkyd options require mineral spirits for cleanup, but they provide a hard, durable paint finish. Whichever you use, buy the best-quality paint you can afford for a lasting kitchen cabinet finish. Seal with at least three coats with a water based polyurethane. Use a small foam roller and foam brush for a smooth finish.

You could try milk paint on your cabinets. I painted mine white with milk paint, and they still look great more than a year later: http://momhomeguide.com/my-painted-kitchen-cabinets-a-year-later/

Make sure to scrub the cabinets of grease, oil and build up with dawn dish soap or something that will cut through all that grease. Then and scuff sand with 220 grit sandpaper.

You'll want to prime the cabinets before you move on to paint, so you can be sure the paint will stick. Use a good bonding primer like STIX.

Then I would use an enamel product like Sherwin Williams Trim and Door Paint. It is super tough and will withstand the constant use of kitchen cabinets. And it doesn't need top coated.

General Finishes has a paint called enduro pigmented poly that is super tough as well, but its supposed to only be sprayed on.

You could use chalk paint, but you'll need to top coat it (I wouldn't use wax topcoat in a kitchen) with water based poly. I prefer Varathane brand.

Whatever you do, just remember that the prep work before painting is the most important.