Ideas on making two separated poles look connected by a header
You could tie a timber with a rope to fit the poles, or drill holes halfway into the top of timber and push/hammer in place. Stretch a wire/cord /rope between poles.
If it’s a Header, I’m pretty sure that you would WANT it to be solidly connected, it’s there for keeping the Doorway, windows or what ever reason sturdy and solid so you won’t have sloping and opening issues later down the road. Good Luck
Can you send us a picture as I don’t know what a “coastal” header is and I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish.
Yes, “header” is a framing term and no, we don’t want framing to “look” connected.