Asked on Feb 13, 2020

Do you have ideas for planting a nice memorial garden?

RedcatcecSimple Nature DecorMaura White


My 18 yr old son was killed in an automobile accident in May 2011. I rarely visit his gravesite because I just end up getting morbid thoughts there (if that makes any sense) and I know he is with me, in my heart, wherever I go. I've been wanting to build (or plant I quess you'd say) a memorial garden in my yard, a place I can sit and feel I'm closer to him. I plan on putting a cement or wooden bench there to sit on and would like to possibly like to incorporate a birdbath. I want plants and/or bushes that will attract bitterflies, dragonflies and hummingbirdd especially. These all remind me of signs sent from Heaven that he, as well as my father, grandfather, grandmother and stepdad are with me. What plants and bushes are the best to attract the butterflies, dragonflies and hummingbirds?? I also have a few solar powered butterflies and Angels that I will want to include in it as well. I don't want to put too much in it and it and it look too overcrowded but enough to keep it looking too spotty. Have any of you done this or know someone who has? Is so, would you please post pictures to give me some ideas along with some suggestions that you would possibly do. This will be pretty much just "my" spot to just sit and feel closer to him as well as a place I can decorate over the years, especially on holidays and such. Thanks in advance for all of your help!! 😊❤️ One last thing...should i just find a place in the yard to plant this (my yard is completely large and bare (no trees, flower beds or anything) or should I do it as a flower bed basically just around the front of the house?

13 answers
  • Hi Michelle - I am so so sorry for your loss. Sending abundant love and prayers to you, as I can't even begin to imagine the pain and grief you are going through. I love this idea of a memorial garden or space. I hope that others can maybe post some ideas. I'm including a link to a garden path that I did all by myself in one weekend. It's not a memorial garden, but maybe will give you a little inspiration as to how to take a space in your yard and turn it into something beautiful.

    I would also go to your local nursery and ask them about flowers and plants specific to your locality that will be hearty and bloom and be beautiful. And see which ones "speak to you."

    Blessings and hugs, Holly

  • Cheryl A
    on Feb 13, 2020


    I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I think a memorial garden would be a good idea to remember him by. I planted my sister's favorite flowers in my yard when she passed away and every time I see them, I smile thinking of her. Here are more ideas. God bless you and maybe some flowers in front of the house he liked and then an area where you could put a bench or chair in the back and add things as time allows. Some folks plant a memorial tree or bush (Camellias are excellent) also in honor of loved ones.

  • Lucky Home Today
    on Feb 13, 2020

    I think you’ve got great plans! You could do a raised bed to nearby, too.

  • Cynthia H
    on Feb 13, 2020

    Michelle, I am so very sorry for your loss.

    At my old house I had a small memory spot and I am in the process of rebuilding it in our new home. A concrete angel was my centerpiece, a concrete bench was to one side. A tree shaded me. Flowers varied by season. I kept pots of flowers and grew morning glory on a lattice. It was a peaceful spot where I could think about things, memories, cry if I needed and deal with life where there were no phones or demands. Find what has meaning for you, and incorporate peaceful elements. Make it a place where your spirit can rest, and embrace the happy memories. God bless.

  • Gk
    on Feb 13, 2020

    I have a Dwarf Korean lilac bush that flowers beautifully every year and attracts beautiful butterflies. They grow quite quickly compared to typical lilac bushes. Check with your local nursery to see if they are available for your area. If your yard is bare I would find a nice corner spot to plant this bush (or two) and add a bench. Maybe you could incorporate a small pergola over your bench. You will be able to create a beautiful area to hold your memories close to your heart.

  • Linda
    on Feb 13, 2020

    Hi Michelle! I am sorry to hear about your loss. My sister lost her daughter at the age of 20. We are all so very close and our lives changed. A memory garden sounds wonderful! Here are a few pinterest pin I came across that I thought were pretty. Also, consider visiting your local plant nursery and ask them for advice on what plants that will attract butterflies. They will know what will grow the best in your zone. Last, if you want this to be a private place I would ask the nursery for a plant that grows tall quickly so you can build you a wall of sorts.

    This link has a swing in it and butterfly plants around it. You can easily add your angels and lights.

    This post has recommendations for butterfly attracting plants.

    I hope this help!

  • Nan W.
    on Feb 13, 2020

    Michelle: I'm so sorry for your loss (I, too, have lost a child.) It is heart-breaking.

    There are many ideas here. ...hope it will help

  • Beth
    on Feb 13, 2020

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I think that anything you'd like to do to memorialize him will bring you a lot of comfort. You've gotten some great recommendations here. I'll add that milkweed is great for monarch butterflies, and anything red will help to attract hummingbirds, even if you just use red accent stones or something--it will attract hummingbirds to the area.

  • Tinyshoes
    on Feb 13, 2020 sorry for your loss! I think your ideas are great...shade would be nice..maybe a cover over the bench, swing, etc. You can use pots for flowers or plant in will probably need a ground cover such as mulch, etc. We purchased chipped brick for ours because mulch can draw termites if near your home not good. You can lay it out by using edging from hardware store or landscape timbers. I would do stepping Stones. The birdbath & birdfeeds will draw birds but most flowering shurbs will help. Good luck..sent pic when you get finished..thanks

  • Pamela
    on Feb 13, 2020

    I am so sorry for your loss , but think your idea is beautiful one ! I would take a spot in your backyard , where you have a blank slate , and privacy . I would ask a local gardening store or nursery what plants grow best in your climate , that attract butterflies and hummingbirds . I live in the NE and our local home depot sells butterfly bushes . I would pick an area in your yard and plant flowers or bushes and even pots of flowers . You could put inexpensive low fencing around the area if you want , to make it " your " spot / sanctuary . You can put your solar lights in there , you can get a Shepard book post and hang a windchime from it . You can make stepping stone out of quickcrete and a mould and personalize it . You can find kits for this at any craft store . Then I would find a nice bench or even a resin rocking chair , something comfortable to sit on for awhile . Then I would add a little each year ...maybe a single stepping stone each year , or add a bird bath , or add solar lights or lanterns ... Good luck with your project !!!!!

  • Maura White
    on Feb 14, 2020

    Trumpet vine is awesome for hummingbirds!

  • Simple Nature Decor
    on Feb 16, 2020

    So sorry for your loss. Here is a very good article I read, I hope this brings you some ideas.

  • Redcatcec
    on Feb 16, 2020

    Hi Michelle,

    As long as you can see his face and hear his voice, he is with you.

    A bench would be nice, maybe have his initials painted on it or a stepping stone with his initials-date of birth.

    If your zone favors it, a butterfly bush. Solar lights with butterflies on them.

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