Changing color of hardwood short of sanding
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Hi Elizabeth,
There really isn't any way to lighten the steps without doing some type of refinishing. Here is a link that explains what you can do with out totally refinishing ~ sanding/re-staining and sealing them all over again.
https://www.hunker.com/13401510/how-to-lighten-a-dark-wood-stain
You could paint them. You could cover them with carpeting or some other flooring material. You could replace them. You could refinish them. Those are the only choices if you cannot live with them as-is. The protective coating you put on the steps is doing what it is supposed to do. Protect the steps.