How do I keep my home tidy if I'm a hoarder?

It's easy for people to tell you how to get rid of the excess or suggest storage options, but if you're a hoarder, it's not that simple. This isn't a storage problem, it's actually a psychological problem. Yes, you can organize your clutter, but the real issue is there's something in your psyche that makes you feel the need to hoard things. I've watched Hoarders on TV, and they always bring in a psychologist to help the hoarder deal with downsizing. For hoarders, it isn't just about stuff...it's the need to surround yourself with stuff. Stuff you'll never, ever need or use somehow becomes "necessary" to keep. Discover what's behind that need with the help of a counselor, and learn how to fill that inner need to own surround yourself in stuff in other ways.

What do you mean "open my door to my kids"? Hopefully that doesn't mean they will feel pressured to take your stuff to their homes...generation 2 hoarders in the making??? I imagine you have some nice things, family heirlooms, etc. and that's what you are offering your kids. Just remember not to get upset if they don't really want much. There are a whole lot of places you can sell or donate things you need to weed out.

Just this past week, I went through my craft room and gave away 22 years of scrapbooking supplies, tons of yarn, various tidbits AND five pieces of furniture! It just hit me one day that I wasn't going to be using all that stuff even if I lived to be 200 years old. Styles of scrapbook paper have changed, I don't knit much any more, etc. I just started filling boxes...then I donated the filled boxes. IMMEDIATELY so I couldn't change my mind. When I filled a box, I put right into my car and drove it away the same day. As I came back home from dropping off boxes, I felt such a sense of relief, and I absolutely LOVE my craft room all open and airy!

There were some very happy senior citizens, one delighted high school art teacher, the local boys and girls club, and Goodwill donation site when I dropped off things I thought a particular group might like. It felt SO good. It IS hard to start, but take it one step at a time and get rid of things you've decided to weed out immediately so you don't spend time questioning your discard pile! Good luck!

I completely understand your comment "open the door". I have multiple plumbing issues & I've learned to do repairs myself. (divorced) I'm too ashamed to have a plumber (or my kids) come to my house! I'm a preschool teacher & truely use all the boxes of school materials, books, & toys that I've collected over the last 30+ years. Plus all the toys, games, & books my 2 girls ever owned. And I get far too much joy from finding gems at my local Goodwill, then get home & try to find a place to keep it. I'm trying to justify my habits like most junkies, but the struggle is real. Try to envision your NECESSARY things stored away, easy to find when NEEDED, while the rest of your home is company/family/PLUMBER ready. My dream is an unused bedroom of shelves to house tubs of clearly labeled materials, my living room cleared of boxes & said tubs, a 2nd bedroom also cleared of materials/junk for my granddaughter to sleep over. GOALS & visions, baby steps, & one area or room at a time. Good luck, find your own vision.

Hoarding is often an outward expression of inward issues. Without getting to the reason for the hoarding it will only continge. My father, who grew up during the depression always had to have stuff "just in case". My husband 's sisters constantly raided his stuff with impunity and my sister is trying to fill with stuff the disatisfaction with her life. There are as many reasons as there are people. Counseling can really help.

Maybe if you started by organizing. All Christmas items together, all garden, all pictures and frames, all magazines, shoes, etc etc etc. If you have the funds, put them in clear storage boxes, clearly marking them. It will give you a sense of purpose and progress. We all have some sense of order.

Honestly, Colleen, I think it's a good thing that our "kids" don't want to be bothered with things they don't want. I don't want to be sentimentally tied to things I don't want or need either...especially since I very easily gather too much "stuff" of my own to tie me down! My granddaughter is saving money for her first apartment, and my daughter is VERY antsy to buy this or that for her daughter's apartment, but granddaughter says "NO!" She wants to do her own thing in her home and is willing to live in a bare apartment until she finds exactly what SHE wants. IF she comes to one of us and asks for something, that's one thing...but taking things with family history that she doesn't really want puts an unneeded burden on her in my opinion.

Interesting to me that my daughter's step-daughter recently moved into HER first apartment and my daughter brags about step-daughter's living light and adding what she really wants to her apartment instead of taking family hand-me-downs that don't fit step-daughter's style. It's easy for my daughter to see that her step-daughter doesn't want to be tied down with family pass-ons, but somehow when the pass-ons come from my daughter to HER daughter, she sees sentimentality in objects.

Well as they say first step to admit problem, so congrats. Then get therapy because this is stemming from a bigger issue. Something deep. May God bless you and help you through this process.

I think of how many people are "sprinkled" on the water somewhere or are poured into the wind on the top of a mountain, etc. Those people don't usually have gravestones either, but it's a very popular thing for people to do with their loved one's cremains. I don't really know how to solve that empty spot in the family tree except that perhaps families could purchase a marker to be placed in a certain place in a cemetery that gives the person's statistics. This whole conversation is an intriguing subject to me.

I'm sure it's very difficult to let things go. It's easy for others to say get rid of it but they dont understand what you are going through. I don't know if my suggestion will help you. Take one section at a time. Think of donating craft items to a school or senior center or nursing home. They would be so happy to receive the items and will use them, perhaps that would help that you would be putting a smile on someone's face and items are being used not wasted. Easier said then done. best of luck to you.

I use the Konmari system. There is even a checklist to follow. Basically you only keep items that make you happy, things that spark joy. As a professional organizer, every client I have had that truely hoarded was on medication for OCD or Depression. Those clients would take xanax or something similar as they were learning how to organize their possessions. With Konmari you group like similar items then pull out the ones you want to keep- instead of pulling out the items to get rid of. You train your brain you go through groups from shirts to silverware as you go along it gets easier. I would seek professional help from a therapist and look for the book Spark Joy at your library.

A question about Konmari...they say to only keep things that spark joy. I can't say my desk lamp or my paper cutter or my cupcake pans or my empty DVD's waiting to be used or lawn rake "spark joy", but they are functional and used frequently. There's no reason to spend the money replacing them with a prettier/joy sparking model. So...my question is does Konmari go beyond "spark joy" when helping one learn how to rid their home of clutter and "stuff"? What criteria does she suggest when dealing with things like I mentioned above? Does she deal with what to do with functional/being used "clutter" and how to organize that? Thanks.