My question is: how can a make my orchids love me?
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I love orchids, but they're quite tricky, heres a helpful guide for their care http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/gardening/article-2985267/Tropical-favourites-Keeping-orchids-alive-easy-provided-follow-rules.html
You have to remember that orchids live at "glacial speed". They're like the sloths in Zootopia... verrrryyyyy slllloooowww. My orchid flowers once a year, for about a month. Then its just big sideways leaves for the other 11. I keep them hydrated with a mister and a little water once a week when the weather is dry. Commercial growers inject them with dyes to color them, so don't expect the color to last for a second year.