What is the best sealer to put over Gray wash on kitchen cabinets?
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Always use a water based finish over water based stains!
Instant greying for wood is the vinegar and steel wool solution, but you will need to test color/strength before.
For an oak table I used Skylt from Rigostep. This is a sealer for wood floors in 2 components.
It can take water, it is very very durable (it is supposed to protect the floor from high heels) and totally invisible and no shine what so ever. I wanted the most matte invisible lacquer and this is it. I don't know if it is available outside of Europe but if you go to your local woodenfloor specialist he might be able to help.