How to make a flag holder for a cemetary stone
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Pipe clips stuck or drilled to stone or pipe stuck in ground
I think the pipe in the ground will be the easiest route. You may need to sink it below grade so it doesn't interfere with mowing. Be aware that it will fill with water and rot a wooden or steel flag pole. But if you are thinking of a small flag you will probably be replacing it every year so it shouldn't matter. If this doesn't appeal to you then you could try to glue a short piece of pipe to the stone using epoxy. It can be hard to join dissimilar materials when the temps go to freezing and below. You can aways contact the company that supplied the stone and ask them to attach something for you.
You could simply stick a short piece of PVC pipe into the ground and then stick the flag pole into that. The PVC will last for years, and will not rust, etc if it fills with water. Use a hammer or rubber mallet to tap it into the ground.
how about one of these? https://ceramic-stone.com/
My Dad's head stone has a flag holder. The company that made the stone sold it to us. It has lasted six years and so far no problems. Sorry for your loss.