How do I fix painted kitchen cabinets that have years of paint?
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If you are just looking to improve the look you can cover the doors in fabric that has been dipped in fabric starch. You smooth it out like wall paper and when the fabric starch dries the fabric is stuck to the door. To remove it you just wet it and peel it off. This works best with light to med wt fabric.
If you have your heart set on refinishing the cabinets do it and risk forfeiting your security deposit. If you keep the color similar to what is there, it may go unnoticed on the final walk through.
My husband covered the doors of our cabinets with bead board that is vinyl and the look beautiful and wipe right off, if you tack them up with a tack in each corner they can be removed with no damage
I wanted to paint cabinets but to convince myself and my husband that I could do it and get a good result I removed a bathroom cabinet door and “practiced“ on the back. I figured worse case scenario the back got fresh paint. Maybe you could try that and show the manager to assure them it will be an improvement.
VSmith has a good point about risking not only loosing your security deposit. There is also the possibly of being fined for incurring "new damage" especially since the landlord already told you verbally that you cannot repaint them.
If you signed a rental agreement, then this is a binding contract. Your good intentions about wanting to "fix" the cupboards will not hold up if there is any legal dispute about who is in the wrong.