Painting oak cabinets vs refacing
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We painted honey oak...used 2 coats good primer and 2 coats good paint...no show through. We're very happy with results and we did it ourselves.
If you want a smooth finish, that can be achieved with more than one coat of oil paint. A coat of primer and latex allows the graining to come through. Resurfacing is best on laminate cabinets and is, in my opinion, a sin on solid wood cabinet doors. Good luck.
I want to redo my kitchen also, and like you said refacing is too expensive. I have been doing research on Pinterest and all the results that I've seen from people painting their cabinets ( and there are tons of them) the results look absolutely beautiful! There are many videos, tutorials, and many people even tell you the types and colors of paints used to get the effect you want. I don't know what your countertops are made of, but they even paint them that they look like marble, granite, or just solid colors. SO many ideas that now my problem is which to choose, lol. Check it out.
If you decide to paint - I would use a good mineral paint like Dixie Belle Paint - it's outstanding paint, little to no prep work, and easy to work with. It's made for things like cabinets. http://www.dixiebellepaintcompany.com/shop/?aff=9
Your 'advisor' is wrong. A quality primer will seal the wood and then your finish coat of color paint will not show ANY wood grain.
I have painted a couple of sets of oak kitchen cabinets using chalk paint. Then I lightly distressed the painted wood, glazed over the paint, and finished with poly coats. The chalk paint is a thicker paint and tends to fill more of the grain than some cabinet paint---can't tell they were oak. I wouldn't reface fronts just to cover up grain lines that are barely visible (if at all).
Thanks to all...I can now ask better questions when I interview painters.