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Have you asked the groundskeepers at the graveyard? They probably know a lot about the different stones and best cleaning methods.
Get the same cleaner and preserver people buy for their kitchen granite counters.
Hi Eileen
Here are some ideas
https://www.loveliveson.com/how-to-clean-granite-headstones/
Hi Eileen: Sorry for your loss :( Here's a site that should help:
http://www.everlifememorials.com/cleaning-cemetery-tombstones-s/297.htm
or this one:
https://www.wikihow.com/Clean-a-Gravestone
Good luck