Staining a raised planter
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How about making your own organic stain? Here is how!
https://www.diynatural.com/homemade-wood-stain/
https://youtu.be/xA3pTmxPBUI
Stain doesn't go all the way through the wood nor does a sealer, it will not affect your edible plants. However, the P. Allen Smith video that Naomie suggested looks a lot more fun.
Coffee is a great stain! Mix instant coffee with a bit of water to make a paste if you want it really dark. Then use a water based sealant
I prefer Minwax because it is easy to find, relatively inexpensive, and yields consistently good results. It is no more toxic than paint thinner. But then neither is any other commercial wood stain. A wipe-on Danish oil finish, like Watco, will stain and provide some protection.
Why does it have to be a plain BROWN stain.... what about a COLOR wash (instead of a white wash) Turquoise, Orange, Yellow, Blue.... 1 part paint to 3 parts water (more water for a lighter wash) would add interest to the planter... and color to your yard decor.
The steel wool, vinegar, and coffee will only "age" newer wood to help blend in with older, weathered wood such as yours. You would not see much difference. You could try "whitewashing" it to give it a different, fresher look.
I would use any water based paint. Or use polyurethane to keep it the way it is and help stop the deterioration..