Am I sanding too much?
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Is there such a thing as sanding too much? You need to remove any paint that comes off easily and rough up the surface a bit. Mission accomplished I'd say.
You have already identified the problem with leaving the stuff in your cabinets while sanding. Is it a problem for you? You can take everything out and clean when you are done. You are the only one that matters here.
While I know it is a pain, the entire room should be completely empty. Everything out of every cabinet, curtains down and out along with any furniture. Tape off any heating and cooling vents too. Then mask off the room from the rest of the house with cheap plastic drop cloths to keep the dust to a minimum from spreading to the rest of the house.
Get everything as smooth as possible then vacuum up as much dust as you can with a shop vac and wipe down cabinets with tack cloth to remove any remaining dust. Then you can prime, then start painting.
Proud of you, my kitchen is in worse shape and it has been 18 years!
You really don't have to go down to the bare wood, you will wear yourself out. Let me find a good video for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8u9vT5xY8s
Take the food out of the cabinets, and store them away from the sanding, too much dust.
You just need to sand enough to roughen up the surface so that the paint will properly adhere to the cabinets