How do you get rid of grapevines,that come from next door?
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Without the risk of killing your neighbors plant all you can do is cut what is on your property.
If the fence is yours and on your property, you can legally cut and remove the vines off the fence and any that encroach onto your property.
Cut all of the canes and branches on your side before they Bud. Grapes grow on old wood so this should help solve your problem.
Any wood that is left in the ground will put out shoots that also root themselves and grow new shoots, etc.. All you can do is keep cutting back every time you see new shoots start. I have wild grapes that keep coming back. It took me two years to finally kill one isolated spot that kept taking over the lilacs.
Anything you do must be done to those vines that make it in to your yard as those are truly on your property. Short of just repeatedly cutting them when the pop through, you might want to take a photograph and then go show it to your neighbor. This might stimulate your neighbor into moving the grapes so that it doesn't keep happening to you.