Painting a dark brown headboard
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i would clean it well and use 2 to 3 coats of chalk paint. Make sure to seal it properly or you will scratch the paint off
Taking the gloss down either by chemistry or sanding will improve your paints ability to stick to the surface. Primer will improve it even more.
1) try scrubbing a light paint over the surface - either with a stuff brush, or I will sometimes use a washcloth. This gives you a look similar to 'liming' and it can lighten wood without obscuring the grain. you can use white, or a pastel color. Seal when done.
2) chalk paint is super popular, and a good choice if you don't spend 'too' much time with your bare head propped against the headboard ((your hair oil will soften the waxed finish over time) and it makes antiquing easy.
3) prime, paint, antique or tone as you like, seal.
Lightly sand the lacquer or varnish (shiny finish) before painting. Spray paint likely will be your best option for a smooth finish with curves.
http://www.doityourself.com/stry/how-to-paint-wood-headboards
I would sand it well to remove the glossy finish, or you can use a chemical deglosser, "liquid sandpaper" to remove it. Then prime the surface with a good primer, let dry well, then paint with your choice of paints.