How can I Update a small farmhouse kitchen losing the country charm?
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DIYnetwork.com and HGTV.com and Pinterest.com will have LOTS of ideas for you.... print off the ideas you like so you can compare them later with out having to look them up again
https://www.houzz.com/photos/farmhouse/kitchen
Do you have an island? They can be made to fit the size of a kitchen and they can fit in a lot of stuff.
You have to look, but new appliances are around that are modern but homey. One friend of mine bought stainless steel with a copper look. Another bought a fridge with a wood finish that almost looked built in. Then I have seen very modern stoves and microwaves that look old-fashioned. If you can empty a wall, you can take the dry wall down to the studs and have shelves built from the floor to the ceiling between the studs for a pantry or a china cabinet. ☺️
You first have to decide what works for you. Do you want an island or peninsula? Sink under the window? Do you want a prep sink? You don't have to have the sink, stove and refrigerator in a triangle like they used to do. What cabinet features do you want, super susan, lazy susan, pull out trash cans, pull out shelves, pull out and up mixer cabinet, etc? Color? Lighting? A few pictures of what you have to work with would help us help you. Here are the last two kitchens I did.