How do you keep cedar from graying?
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Go to a cedar specialty shop. I have a western red cedar fence. The application was called white on white. You applied the first coat and when it turned milky, you put on the second. Had to be done every 2-3 years. Even if slightly grayed in areas, it would bring out the beautiful tones. Then I was out of province, and the fence didn't get done for years so I just applied a stain.
Keep it stained, don't let it succumb to the elements without protection.
Stain it.
You stain but sealing is the most important part of preserving it. Use a good protective polyurethane made for outdoor wood such as this one. It comes in gloss, semi-gloss, or matte finishes.