How to get old wood to take stain??

did you use a primer before painting? there are a lot of paints with primer in them now- we used a satin finish in black on our island and it hid the wood grain -

I didn't but that was my next step but wanted to see if there was an easier solution. Is there a paint/primer that you recommend?

Try coal black Fusion Mineral paint. It’s gorgeous and holds up really well and requires very prep. That said a good sanding and cleaning before any paint or stain is always a good idea.

You may have sanded it too finely or it may be a tight-grained wood. Here's a link with more information:

https://abutterflyhouse.com/wood-wont-take-stain/

Clean, give it a sanding, and then use a primer before painting, here is a list of primers to use, your area should have something you could

https://woodworkingclarity.com/best-spray-paint-primer-for-wood/

A good primer such as Kilz might help to hide the grain a bit.There are now self-leveling paints available that provide a beautiful smooth surface. That might be aanother option to help keep the grain from showing.

The grain may show through unless you paint with something thick. I would try enamel paint.

I agree with a primer and more coats of paint.

If you want a darker stain over stain you can try the Dixie Belle VooDoo stains. I literally just went over a stained mantel without sanding or priming and it covered perfectly. Here's the DIY. https://www.exquisitelyunremarkable.com/2021/10/a-fireplace-mantel-makeover.html

Either you sanded too fine or it's a tight grain wood. A gel stain would work. For painting you would need to prime. I use Kilz primer. Then you can paint.

Primer followed by several coats of paint, maybe three coats should do the trick for you.

KILZ Premium High-Hide Stain Blocking Interior/Exterior Latex Primer/Sealer

This product has a special mildewcide additive that can prevent mold and mildew from forming. It can also kill active mold and mildew spores. This makes it great for use in high-humidity or moisture-prone areas. This can include kitchens, bathrooms, saunas, laundry rooms or other similar rooms.

A primer as described above give a nice bonding base coat so your paint application will look much more smooth.

I would use a couple of coats of primer and then start over.

Hi. You need to seal the wood with a gloss of some kind to loose the grain.

Thanks for all of the advice, hope to get started on the chair soon.

Primer before to help cover up the wood

you may need to replace wood or sand the wood down and stain again

The best way to stain wood is to prepare the wood surface by sanding it with a sanding block or orbital sander. Sandpaper with a lower grit number will make wood rougher, allowing more stain to absorb and create a darker color. Start with 120-grit sandpaper on refinished pieces.

Wood grain is always going to show regardless of what paint or stain you might use. If you're painting over stain, you'll need to find a primer that will cover the stain and stick, and then allow you to paint over it. You might need to sand off the paint and then prime if you plan to paint it again.

Make use of a good primer for this one. Or could try painting it with something thick such a enamel paint.